Oh god, the hilarity:
“Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.
Jennifer Hart, Arlington”
Some of these are just a bit too amusing for me to believe they were unintentional. But it’s still good for a quick laugh.