Fishapod: Prehistoric Ancestor of Chuck Norris

Have you ever lay awake at night looking at the stars and wondered…

Where did Chuck Norris come from?

The POWER OF SCIENCE!!! now gives us the answer:

“Darwin’s posse just got mightier with the discovery of a prehistoric critter that represents a missing link in the evolutionary chain. ‘Fishapod’ (Tiktaalik roseae) was highly trained in martial arts and once vanquished ten Intelligent Design proponents with a single wu-shu thwack from his mighty tail!”

Top 10 Fishapod facts:

1. Science doesn’t kill people. The Fishapod kills People.

2. There is no theory of Intelligent Design. Just a list of animals descended from the Fishapod.

3. The Fishapod does not sleep. He evolves.

4. The chief export of the Fishapod is caviar… with *legs*.

5. There is no chin under the Fishapod’s beard. Which is okay, because the Fishapod does not have a beard.

6. The Fishapod has three speeds. Walk, Swim, and Kill.

7. The leading causes of the decline of morals in the United States are: Video Games, The Fishapod, Television.

8. The Fishapod drives an ice cream truck covered in the skulls of Intelligent Design proponents.

9. The Fishapod is my Homeboy.

10. The Fishapod doesn’t just go walking…. THE FISHAPOD GOES SWIMMING!

Boing Boing: Fishapod fossil: suck on this, Creationists!

Chuck Norris Facts

UPDATE:

Many thanks to Luke for this additional Fishapod fact:

“The only reason the Fishapod hasn’t killed you yet is because it has not evolved the taste bud required to taste your sweet fear.”

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